“Because I love him, and I agree with him. And I am religious… well, now I am. While I respect your personal decisions surrounding your faith, I’d like to do this right.”And with that, we hung up.Listen to Mamamia Out Loud, Mamamia’s podcast with what women are talking about this week. Post continues below.We didn’t have any communication for weeks until the wedding invitation arrived in my mailbox. Most of our mutual friends were just as shocked as I was to find out I would not be her MOH or even be in the wedding party. But none of them were as close as we were, and they weren’t in the wedding party either.When I opened the invitation, I smiled. She looked beautiful in her photos, a goddess of a woman in a beautiful maroon gown. And I looked at her husband-to-be, the reason behind her smile. And for that, as heartbroken as I was, I checked the box that I would not be attending my best friend’s wedding.I knew he’d probably be thrilled to hear I would not be there on their big day.I had no idea what she thought about my decision. And I’d never know because she never reached out.Years later, I remember the pain I felt seeing her wedding photos on social media. I remember the embarrassment when I received texts that day asking where I was and if Alison and I were in a fight.Truthfully, I took a camping trip with my boyfriend that weekend to get away from everyone because I couldn’t truly process the loss of my best friend. The loss of our friendship. The loss of her laughter in my life. It was and still is, the worst breakup I’ve ever endured.But I knew I did the right thing. I couldn’t sit in the church and watch her marry a man who hated me so much because of my religious beliefs that he would ask her to exclude me from such an important day.And I couldn’t watch him marry the woman who once was my soulmate, but I couldn’t recognize anymore.They are still married, with two little ones running around in their home. I know very little about her now, as she doesn’t know much about my life either.But sometimes these unthinkable things happen in life, such shocking and deep losses that you don’t know how to keep living without them. But you do, because you know that you are still loved and needed and important in the world, even if the person who used to be your everything doesn’t see it anymore.Feature Image: Getty.What would you do? Let us know in the comments below!The author of this story is known to Mamamia but has chosen to remain anonymous for privacy reasons. Names and other identifying features have been changed. The feature image used is a stock photo.
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